How to Get Married…And Keep Your Friends, Too!
How to Get Married…And Keep Your Friends, Too!
We’ve all seen it; the bride who stuffs her friends into fuchsia dresses, screams all morning over a lost earring, and wonders, where everyone went after her “perfect” wedding, is over. The day you marry the love of your life should be a momentous occasion. However, with all the excitement and stress of making sure every detail is perfect, you don’t want to wake up and realize you’ve alienated your best friends in the process. Make sure your wedding day goes according to your dreams–and your friendships fare just as well!
Stay Thankful
When things go wrong, it’s easy to take it out on those closest to you. We’re all guilty of snapping at a well-meaning person during a stressful moment. But on an important day like a wedding, it’s more important than ever to keep your loved ones close–even if everything goes awry.
If you feel yourself starting to panic (let’s say the photographer showed up late, the flower girl fell in the mud, and the cake arrived with a big dent in the top), instead of letting your disappointment distance you from your loved ones, make a conscious decision to stay thankful. It may help to list your blessings rather than your problems. Tell your friends and family just how much you appreciate their love and support during the trials of a difficult wedding day. Make sure to let your new spouse know, too!
If you do find yourself slipping into bridezilla mode, it’s never too late to backtrack. Give your friends sincere apologies and let them know what steps you’ll take to make sure you don’t snap under wedding-planning stress again. Most friends will be happy to help you stay in the cheerful territory, even if you’re not perfectly thankful and chipper for every second of the journey.
Appreciate Help; Even Bad Help
When friends try to help with wedding planning, it can sometimes feel like your little siblings are trying to help in the kitchen. All you can picture is the mess you’ll have to clean up when they’re done. Instead of shooing your helpers away, however (or worse–yelling at them that they’re doing it wrong), try to channel their energy into jobs they can’t possibly mess up.
If your best friend has her heart set on making papier mâché bow ties for all your guests (an actual offer from a real wedding, by the way), gently let her know that you’ve got formal wear covered but you are in desperate need of help stuffing invitation inserts. When you phrase your need as a cry for help, you allow your helpful friends to come to your rescue–in the manner of your choosing.
Let Guests be Guests
Sometimes, overly-helpful friends aren’t a problem at all. In fact, some of your wedding invitees will want nothing more than to attend your wedding, sip a few cocktails, and give you their heartfelt congratulations. If you have friends or family members like these, don’t pressure them to help. It’s your wedding, after all, and you can always hire vendors to do the work.
It goes without saying, but never commit to a large DIY project if you’re not sure you can really “do it yourself.” None of your friends or family members want to see you panicking on the night before your wedding when your half-formed flower arrangements are draped in wilting piles around your living room. It’s times like these when brides turn into bridezillas–and those near them get trampled in the process. Instead of biting off more than you can chew, bite off less. You can use your free time to relax and socialize before the big day.
Follow Up
Just because you’ve recited your vows and departed for a romantic getaway, it doesn’t mean you can put your social life on hold forever. Once you return from your honeymoon, take some time to reconnect with your friends. It’s tempting to immerse yourself completely in the thrill of your new marriage (and by all means, enjoy it!) but don’t turn your back on the friends who helped you through the ups and downs of wedding planning. You’re entering a new phase of your life, it’s true. But take time for a few lunches–or even phone calls–to remind your friends and family that you still need them in your new life, too.